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Offline The Balloon Artist

Total Posts Last Post Last Seen Joined
17372 07/23/08 05:13:23 07/23/08 05:13:23 08/27/04
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06/08/08
2840

Just a few personal notes

As you have guessed, I am a balloon artist. It is a hobby/odd job. Perhaps a really odd job. In a larger market I could be doing this full time. Meanwhile back in reality, my wife of 27 years, tolerates this, my cooking, and all other messes I make. We both work in the health care field. We have one daughter and 2 very spoiled dogs.

For Freddie

Freddie's in my Garden

"You need to mix a lot of mulch in the soil here" Freddie said. "Too much clay, not enough top soil. The ground is too hard for carrots, potatoes, and onions. Okra loves the hot weather here."

Whenever I plant a garden I always remember Freddie. He was that quiet and shy goof of a kid that everyone teased in school. He always got in trouble at work. He had poor work habits and his quality lacked. One day they let him try the automatic welder. Freddie found a home and even made lead man. When he wanted to do more, his skill level wasn't there to make the next grade of welder and he was fired. "Always pull the okra staubbs out of the ground. They get rock hard and make plowing difficult next year. Squash does really well until it gets too hot."

Then there are those who remember that crazy kid with the alcoholic parents and the house that was full of garbage when they moved. Freddie made several trips to the state hospital. I went to see him several times. He came to church with me and was trying to get his life together. "You should get a gallon of okra a day and two gallons of green beans. If it rains all bets are off. Water from the hose keeps stuff alive. The vegetables all love the rain. You'll see."

To others he was the kid who heard voices, or he couldn't handle his drugs. I always hated that phrase. I was in my first semester of college and taking a speech class. I was
prepared to give my speech that day but wasn't called upon. My speech was about suicide. When I got home, my wife told me the news about Freddie and the .44 magnum. The next day at school I gave my speech, I had another statistic to give, and a little more emotion. After school I walked out to an empty patch of ground among the former rows of carrots, tomatoes, and peppers. "Always keep your tomatoes away from the peppers. They'll cross pollinate. Put the bell peppers on the other side away from the jalapenos. Same thing." There are those with their different memories of Freddie, but he's in my garden. I remember Freddie in my garden.

What brings you to this topic

What interest do you have in this page?
Probably none.
After all you are reading the ramblings of a 49 year old man.
What could we possibly have in common?
Probably not much.
Your interests are different.
Your politics are different
Your generation is different
Your culture different
Your music is different.
I was once your age.
It was still different
I wanted to kill myself
Maybe there's something
three and half years of torment
29 years later
Perhaps we can talk
Your call

some tunz









Twisted minds are a terrible thing to waste

The Balloon Artist has 197 very twisted minds to play with

Who are these people and why are they following me

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Thanks

  1. avatar

    tori69b

    User Infostatus online118 Kudos

    07/19/08

    image


    Hi Back to ya!
    Original comment »
  2. avatar

    TinkerBell780

    User Infostatus offline891 Kudos

    07/18/08

    image

  3. avatar

    tori69b

    User Infostatus online118 Kudos

    07/18/08

    image I love my coffee! Thanks
    Original comment »
  4. 07/17/08

    Hey! how did you find this nic?
    Original comment »

    07/17/08

    Reply from The Balloon Artist:

    I was stalking Citizen Postal
  5. 07/15/08

    That is adorable! Have a wonderful day. :)
    Original comment »
  6. avatar

    PennyMontana

    User Infostatus offline724 Kudos

    07/13/08

    Awww, thank you. That was so sweet.
    Original comment »
  7. avatar

    Penel0pe

    User Infostatus offline196 Kudos

    07/13/08

    What makes you say that - is the pitbull with makeup, or the bird that thinks he's a dog... or... my... pic-ture of my - f-f-face...

    Don't answer that.
    Original comment »

    07/13/08

    Reply from The Balloon Artist:

    One would think your brief bio or that you are a psychiatric nurse would tip one off.
    However working in the same biz just your being a nurse qualifies you as being a tad touched.
  8. avatar

    Penel0pe

    User Infostatus offline196 Kudos

    07/13/08

    THANK GOD! I thought you'd never get here...
    Original comment »

    07/13/08

    Reply from The Balloon Artist:

    I thought that might touch you as you appeared a tad touched too.
  9. avatar

    youfist

    User Infostatus offline22 Kudos

    07/11/08

    what up bA you da man
    Original comment »
  10. avatar

    polarexprezz

    User Infostatus offline398 Kudos

    07/09/08

    image
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Some fun tunz

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Helz Half Acre Forum

Tuneage

In an internet cafe, checking out some web sites
Warm smell of fajitas, being served to my right
Up ahead on the google, I saw a really cool site
My mouse grew heavy and my click was dim
I had to click on the site
There she stood in the doorway;
I said "what the hell"
And I was thinking to myself,
'this could be Katie or this could be Helz'
Then she sent me a welcome and she showed me the way
There was Kidultz down the corridor,
I thought I heard him say...

Welcome to Helz Half Acre Forum
Such a lovely place
She has a lovely face
Plenty of Loons in at Helz Half Acre Forum
Any time of year, you can find Erb here

B.A. is definitely twisted, he got balloons making bends
Helz's gots lot of silly, silly threads, where we play and pretend
They all post in the forum, called current events.
Some posts you remember, some try to forget

So I called Mr. Lono,
'Lives on Houston Time'
He said, "We haven't had sanity here since Andy lost his Mind"
And still Youfist is calling from far away,
Wakes you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear him say...

Welcome to Helz Half Acre Forum
Such a lovely place
She has a lovely face
They livin' it up at Helz Half Acre Forum
You hear Goldy aaaah, when they post tatas

Rose's poems are revealing.
And Blo0eyed is so nice
And she said 'you are all just prisoners here, of Katie's device'
And in Dysfunction Junction,
Drama, and Conspiracies,
We insult pathetic lives,
Cos we just don't care the least

Last thing I remember, I was
Running for the door
I had to find the web page back
To the board I was before
Said Citizen Postal
We got got you in this trap.
You can checkout any time you like,
you can't go back to YAP



Tuneage


Daddy's little helper

What a drag it is getting old.
"things are different today,"
I hear ev'ry daddy say
Daddy needs something today to get him up
And though he's not really ill
There's a small oval blue pill
He goes running for the shelter of a daddy's little helper
And it helps him on his way, gets him through his busy day.

"Things are different today,"
I hear ev'ry father say
Getting romantic with a flip of the switch
So he buys a little gift and he takes her on a date
And goes running for the shelter of a daddy's little helper
And two help him on his way, helps him tonight to get his way.

Doctor, please, some more of these
Outside the door, he took four more
What a drag it is getting old.

"Women aren't the same today,"
I hear ev'ry daddy say
They just don't appreciate that you get tired
They're so hard to satisfy. You can't tranquilize their minds
So go running for the shelter of a daddy's little helper
And four help you through the night, helps maximize delight.

Doctor,please, some more of these
Outside the door, he took four more
What a drag it is getting old.

Things are not too hard today,"
I hear ev'ry daddy say
The pursuit of happiness just seems a chore
And if you take more of those, you will get an overdose
Now he's running to the ER because of daddy's little helper
They just helped you on your way but now it just won't go away

stuff I like

these are just a few of the stupid things Ive said

  1. Confessions of a third rate balloon twister

    04/19/08 22:23:06 | 0 Comments

    I just bought Marcel Marceau's Greatest Hits. Hey wait a minute this CD is blank.


    I was watching Benny Hinn the faith healer last night. He was really getting frustrated trying to heal a man with narcolepsy. Every time he touched him, out again.

    My cat was in a bizarre nuclear accident.
    Now he has 9 half lives.
    What's bad is they keep getting shorter.

    If a mime becomes psychotic, does he hear silence? Only...

Some of my Balloon Art

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3 seriously twisted dudes

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I only have eye for you.

She's the one eye, one eye love

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